"nÓg: The Movie"?
Hollywood Comes Knocking

will, of course, be played by Connor Malone. The sea chantey trio will be represented by Green Day singer Billie Joe as Neal Cadogan, Drew Barrymore as Sarah Kennedy and Johnny Depp as Scot Burns.  The producers were sad to learn that Abbie Hoffman would not be available to play Seth, but they have signed "Welcome Back, Kotter" star Gabe Kaplan for the role (Rosie O'Donnell will be playing Brenda).  Fellow Hiring Fair member Jonathan Danforth will be played by Steve Buscemi.  Shock jock Howard Stern has been cast as Mark Clark, and we also hear that talks are underway to allow the jailed Terry Nichols to play the part of Tim O'Meara.  Another big draw will be the reunion of "Absolutely Fabulous" stars Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders as Julie and Tamara.  From the little we could ascertain of the plot, "nÓg" will be told as a series of flashbacks seen through the eyes of an older couple -- Walter Matthau and Katherine Hepburn as an elderly Doug Aldridge and Melissa Hilbert -- and will begin with them recounting how much they miss the Chapter 11.

A nÓse source close to Hollywood director James Cameron has confirmed that the "Titanic" director's much anticipated next movie will be based on everyone's favorite bar, the Tír na nÓg.  Although the plot is still a closely guarded secret, our source managed to provide a peek at the casting for this monumental film.  Initial information has the cast consisting of the following Hollywood stars: the Whelan Family will be portrayed by Robert Duval as Patsy, Kirsty Alley as Patty,  and SNL veteran Adam Sandler as young Connor.  Microsoft mogul Bill Gates will make his first appearance on the silver screen as Robert Elliot.  Executive Chef Enda Mullins is rumored to be played by Bruce Willis, and two "Friends" stars will appear as well: Lisa Kudrow as Mary the bartender and Matthew Perry as Joe Mawn.  The role of Feargal O'Toole has not been cast yet, but we hear the top contenders are Jim Belushi and John Goodman, and word has it that Brad Pitt has read for the part of banjo player Tony Alcorn.  In a rare on-camera appearance, Steven Spielberg will be portraying Mike Barrett, and in her most dramatic role to date, Alisha Jansky will be portraying herself.  The role of Tom Jordan will go to Kevin Costner, while Arthur will be played by Burt Reynolds.  Playing Big Dave the Doorman will be Keanu Reeves,  and Nora McGunnigle will be played by the ever effervescent Janeanne Garofalo. Other notable casting choices are Sean Connery as Ned Walsh, Dudley Moore as Paddy Grace and Robert Downey Jr. as Philip.  Beth Forrest will be played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Ronan Quinn

J1 from Kerry sks other J1's from Kerry for mutual misunderstanding. Also sks low paying job painting houses in Dorchester and other menial labor.