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For several weeks now, there have been sightings of what appeared to be leprechauns around the nÓg. In an elaborate stakeout using advanced technology, nÓse field reporters have discovered that there are indeed a number of small, humanoid creatures inhabiting the area behind the dumpster in the nÓg parking lot. Contrary to popular legend though, the tiny creatures were discovered NOT to be lucky little leprechauns at all but instead, miniature police officers. The tiny but fierce creatures are thought to be part of a sinister experiment begun shortly after the new Irish bar "boom." The purpose of the experiment was to genetically create a race of "bonsai" beat cops in order to catch Irish bars serving after hours. An anonymous source at Prospect Liquors in Cambridge told us. "We've been hearing about it for quite a while, but we thought it was just a rumor. They told us they figured they'd be easy to hide -- between parked cars, behind dumpsters, places where normal size people would be conspicuous. They figured even if they were occasionally seen, who would believe an Irish guy coming out of a bar if he said he'd seen a bunch of real tiny little guys out in the parking lot." A poll conducted at the nÓg established that 100% of patrons had seen the flyweight flatfeet but dismissed them along with other hallucinations regularly seen after a night at the nÓg. Musician Ronan "Fluffy" Quinn stated that he had actually seen them not only at the nÓg but several other places, including his own apartment. As usual, his statements should be disregarded. In an interesting development, rumor has it that Littlest Bar host Paddy Grace is negotiating with the pygmy police creators for a fresh supply of little people. Paddy believes that he can increase his business tenfold if he can reduce the size of his patrons to that of the pint-sized policemen.
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