Around The Bar: New Hire, New Hours, New Brunch, Same Old Menu

Ok, like dude--check it out. Seriously bro, listen--listen--ok, I'm gonna lay it out for you.  Are you listening?  Ok.  It's like this--see--the thing is, you have to understand this--and if you just understand this, you'll see exactly what I'm saying.  Dude, you're not listening.  No, you're not!  Ok, listen.  Here--hang on a sec--where's my lighter?  Ok, wait, lemme roll a smoke, because this is going to be good.  Ok, now I'll tell you what it's all about.  It's like this, see--you know me, right?  Would I lie about this?  No, I wouldn't.  So what I say here is gospel, right?  Ok, get this then.  Here's the thing, what I'm gonna tell you is everything you need to know.  Which is, ummm--dude, can I get another beer here?

Sincerely, Mark Clark

For a bar that has changed so little over the years, the last month has seen a hotbed of activity at the nÓg.  First, the nÓse would like to welcome new bartender Little Damon to the fold.  Of course, Damon has been hanging around for longer than some of the regulars, but it's nice to see him being promoted from groupie to employee.  As many past doormen will attest, it's always better on the inside, until they actually make you work.  With this new hire comes extended hours--that's right, the nÓg will once again be open on weekdays in the afternoon!  Regulars have already begun quitting their jobs to accommodate the expanded hours.  The nÓse spoke to one regular, who requested anonymity (it was Andrew).  Said Andrew, "There's no way I could keep working while the nÓg needed me here.  That would be dereliction of duty, man."  In other exciting news, the nÓg has also started serving a Sunday brunch.  Consequently, the nÓg is now packed on Sunday afternoons, in stark contrast to Sundays past.  Owner Robert Elliott would not confirm that the increase in Sunday attendance actually began before the brunch started, when Johnny Murphy's seat became available and the bar was made safe for women and children again.  Finally, despite all the changes, we are relieved to report that there have been no changes in the actual menu, of which only one copy is believed to remain anyway.

Out & About by Drinky the Drunk Guy

• Enda Mullen, once infamous for his surly attitude, seems to have had a rebirth during his recent visit to Jamaica.  We can't be sure what brought his new, uplifting attitude, but we'll bet it had something to do with the several days he spent in bed when he got home (not to mention when he was there!).
  
• Just Asking: Which former big-talking "man's man" is now being led around in virtual shackles by his new flame?  Our spies report he's even down to four or five Sambucas a night!
  
• nÓg owner Robert Elliott's birthday came and went without any arrests, riots or police actions (that we know of).  Way to go, Robert!  Better luck next year!
  
• The legendary Rob "Shat It" has recently been in touch from his self-imposed exile in Siberia (a.k.a. Rochester).  Although he's been making wild claims about coming to visit soon, we hear that he's just trying to make his bookie think there's a chance he'll get paid.
  

New Feature: "Ask Mark Clark"

Dear Mark Clark,
You seem to know something about the guitar, and I was wondering: who is the better guitar player--Frank Zappa, or Carlos Santana?
Sincerely, the Drunk Guy Next To You

Dear Drunk Guy,