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The battle over possession of the nOg's ceramic clown has once again heated up after attempts to retrieve the clown have again failed. Spurred into action by the April Fools Negotiations over the missing banner, the nOg attempted to negotiate for the clown's return with Squealing Pig owner Dermot "Lazaro" O'Neil, who claimed that he was merely caring for the clown after its mother, known in the press at "the Hen," went missing. After negotiations with Dermot proved fruitless, the nOg sent a crack SWAT team to the Squealing Pig, the last known residence of the clown, to recover the missing mascot. However, when they arrived the plucky little clown was nowhere to be found. The clown, now known as "Elian Clownzalez," was apparently spirited away just days before the recovery effort by persons unknown. Dermot denied any knowledge of little Elian's whereabouts. "I have no idea where he is," Dermot told the nOse. "Definitely not in the closet, though." Since the attempted rescue mission, the clown has allegedly been sighted at several local Irish joints including the Thirsty Scholar and the Times. "We will get our clown back," said nOg owner Robert Elliott. "As we speak, I have surveillance teams watching Mike Barrett around the clock, and we will grab the clown when the opportunity arises." The anti-nOg forces were rejoicing at little Elian's disappearance last week, claiming that he faced a life of neglect and filth at the nOg. "Just look at Nicotine Bear," said "Little Piggie" Erick Holmes. "He's nasty, lonely and unloved. That's what we're trying to save Elian Clownzalez from."
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