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Index

Editorial:  Where's The Snacks?

Advice From The Bar: Ask Feargal

Dear Feargal,
I saw you mentioned in the Journal's "Speak Out" column this week.  Someone implied that you were meant to be Somerville's Communications Director, but you didn't get the post.  Why not?
Sincerely, Some Girl At The Bar

Dear Some Girl At The Bar,
I have no pot o' glue  why I didn't get the job, but I think some Joe Blake in the Mayor's office had it in for me, if you know what I mean.  I wouldn't have taken it anyway, the bangers and mash wasn't the best, although I wouldn't have minded the Shawshank they give ya there.  Fuck them, I say, it's no sweat of me back, but if I do find out which hillman hunter did me in, I'll stick a roast pork in his nanny goat.  Say, do you want to go back to my drum and bass for a quick Melvyn Bragg?
Sincerely, Feargal

Way back in the first issue of Tir na nOse (July 1998), we wrote an editorial complaining about the lack of snacks at Tir na nOg.  After all, drunks need snacks, there is no denying that fact.  And to the nOg's credit, there immediately appeared a wonderful rack of chips, pretzels, popcorn and other munchables.  And we didn't complain when the variety of snacks was reduced to two kinds of Irish chips, all we wanted was something to take the edge off of those "straight from work, no dinner, lots of pints" evenings.  However, the snack rack has now hung vacant for too long, and the time has come to renew the cry for after-hours food.  If the kitchen is going to continue to close at the ungodly hour of 9 p.m., we of the too-many-pints, too-little-food crew must have our snacks!

Tir na nOse Sports Section

Dave "Fold" Forbes made a spectacular non-losing appearance at last month's poker game, and hopes to repeat his adequate performance this week.  He attributed his lack of big losses  to his new style of "non-dumb" play.

Out & About by Drinky the Drunk Guy

  • The new brunch chef may look like Melissa's sister, but in fact it's long-lost patron Beth Forrest.  We're just dying to sample some medieval brunch cooking!
  • A big welcome to new Friday doorman Sean "We Don't Know His Last Name, But We Bet It's O'Something."  We'd like to wish him luck in filling the large shoes of the former "Friendliest Bouncer Who Never Scores," who is now too busy scoring to even drink his usual rake of Sambucas!
  • What is Garrett doing with all those ladies who are constantly accompanying him?  All we know is, his escorts are constantly eating like they haven't had a meal in days--or have just come from a heavy workout, perhaps!

Latest Lines, by Rob The Gambler
Fresh's no-booze-for-two-weeks attempt:

Over/under--48 hours

Drink that breaks the streak:
Amstel Light ____________2-1
Limey Bastard __________ 5-1
Tremont IPA ____________3-1
Any Beer @ Fenway _____ 3-2
Number of free drink offers received during streak, over/under--20

Local political operative Natasha "Bruiser" Perez sustained a brutal injury in a soccer match last week.  Said Natasha of the injury, "It's nothing compared to what I'm going to do to Feargal if he gets me into another losing campaign!"

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