Out & About by Drinky the Drunk Guy

Dot-Com Bust Hits Patrons Badly, But Business Is Better Than Ever

• Congratulations to former Patron of the Month Johnny Murphy--not only is he married, there's a wee Johnny on the way.  We'll reserve Junior a stool tomorrow.
  
• Though we're in the dead of winter, it seems there's a touch of spring in the air--yes, love is blooming all around the nOg, though behind the scenes, if you know what I mean.  Rumor has it that one regular boozer is rather infatuated with a PYT, but is keeping it on the down-low to limit the heckling factor.  If you can figure out who it is, heckle away!
  
• Speaking of heckling, is there any better band for heckling than the Vinal Ave. String Band?  Those kids have some kind of humor.  And they'll get theirs, oh yes they will!
  
• How long do you think the "no poker in the new year" resolution is going to last?  Those boys see straight flushes in their sleep…
  

The fallout from the Nasdaq market bust has hit several patrons of the nOg, but ironically, business seems to be better than ever.  Several of those patrons without employment have been spending record amounts of time and money in the boozer, despite their uncertain future.  "Thank God for unemployment checks," said Feargal "The Lethargic Lothario" O'Toole.  "Former computer jockeys are now lining up at noon to cash their checks and drink them away.  It's nice to see my tax dollars going to something worthwhile, namely me jockey's whips."  The nOse spoke with one out-of-work, in-the-bag patron, who asked not to be identified.  "It's not easy having all this free time," she said, between sips of Citron & tonics.  "I hardly know what to do with myself.  Every week I ask Feargal for a job, just so I can keep on unemployment.  You'd have to be crazy to go back to work when after you discover the pleasures of the four p.m. vodka buzz."  Several other patrons have recently become unemployed, or are on the verge of joblessness, but no one seems concerned.  Said long time high-tech job-hopper Andrew "Spell It Right, You Bollocks" Oikle, "I've never done an honest days work in my life, and I owe it all to this bar.  People don't realize that us computer jocks don't do much work anyway.  If I lose another job, it's just more time in the pub, playing with anyone who will let me on stage."

Advice From The Bar: Ask Joe-Bob

Dear Joe-Bob,
What do you think of this Manny Ramirez deal?  Will it put the Sox over the top this year?
Sincerely, Rabid Sox Fan

Dear Rabid Sox Fan,
Ok, first off, let's get a couple of shots here.  Two limey bastards should do--no, make that four--ah hell, set up the bar, would ya?  Yeah, everyone at the bar.  Not Doug E. Fresh though, he made fun of me in the last nOse.  Don't worry about it, my company may one day go public, there's at least a 50% chance I'll be able to pay for these shots in 12 to 18 months.  Fuck it, give Fresh a shot after all.  Not a big one, though.  Hey, what was I talking about?
Sincerely, Joe-Bob

Coming Next Month in the nOse...

"I Slept With Someone Who Slept With Feargal O'Toole" - Drama In Real Life!
"Damon Gets A Real Job" - In the Contemporary Fiction section